why can't i?

Today I sold a book to guy about how to publish a book. I never usually look at the titles of books that i sell (ok, that's a lie- i giggle a little if they're about "How to attract the opposite sex" ), but i actually looked the book over while he got out his wallet.

I started a conversation with him about what his book was about and how he was planning to get it published. I mentioned how I had helped an author do the same thing and talked a little bit about the experience. He was intrigued and proceeded to write down his contact info and was really adamant about keeping in touch.

I stood there for a bit thinking about what had just happened and started feeling sorry for myself.

What the hell am I doing with my life?

I can write, can't I? I've majored in it, I've led an author to a bestseller, I've been hired as an editorial assistant and my stories have been linked by other sites, and I've been in the local newspaper. Why can't I get up the juice to write the story I've always wanted? Why can't I write about myself?

Years and years ago, I (half-assed) tried to do this. But i stumbled and doubted myself a lot. I thought, "who'd wanna know about me?" I was afraid of letting everyone know who i really was: my weaknesses, my shortcomings, and all the things that make me so vulnerable. But the more I think about it, if I don't try at all, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

I've promoted books, wrote reviews on books, and sold books.

Why can't I write one?